Blog

The Reality Check

Whether people come to therapy or come for personal life coaching, they usually feel stuck. They desperately want to change something, but they report they don’t know how to make their lives different. As they discuss the scenario, I typically note a common denominator that keeps them stuck in their unpleasant situation. Most people who want to change are caught …

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Change Your Reality

Your perception of reality is crucial to your sense of well-being. It is not unusual for human nature to teach us life lessons that can alter how we see reality. As a result, the human psyche develops ways to protect us from any further hurt. As an adult it is your responsibility to revisit the core issues that contributed to …

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Emotional Investment Tools

You learned that healthy relationships are enhanced when you regularly admire, appreciate, respect, communicate with and encourage others. As you look at your relationships, do you cultivate them? Often people want to improve their relationship skills, but they don’t know the tools to make emotional investments into the lives of the people they care about. When you use these tools, …

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Stretching Out of Your Comfort Zone

Is fear keeping you from doing something that has been tugging at your heartstrings? When things get quiet and the distractions are few, is there a nagging feeling that continues to haunt you, reminding you that there is a calling that you are choosing to ignore? I am a believer in the philosophy that you only live once, so it …

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When We Play, We Find Our Way

For many of adults, play is like sex. It requires that you schedule it into your routine. Life can be so busy, with so much activity scheduled into an average day that playing (like sex) can get put on the back burner and never carried out. I work with lots of clients who do not regularly participate in play. When …

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The Love Avoident Personality

Are you in love with a person who is love avoidant? It is not unusual to work with clients who report that there is a chronic distance in their relationship, which leaves them feeling empty, angry and hopeless about their marriage. Upon investigation, it appears that the client reporting the concern was initially “swept away” by the person. They admit …

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Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships don’t just happen. They require that you constantly invest your time, energy and effort into them, just as a bountiful garden requires that you till the soil, pull the weeds, water, and fertilize with proper nutrients. People often take their relationships for granted—until a problem occurs or until it’s too late. As you look at your relationships, do …

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Parenting: Doing Less

It is difficult to raise a family in today’s society. There is so much emphasis in providing the right opportunities and affording the right things. It can be mind-boggling to know when you might be doing too much for your child. You are doing too much if: • You can’t afford the activities your child is involved in. • You …

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Enabling: When You Help, You Hurt

Often times in counseling, I work with well-meaning clients who find themselves consumed with another person. Maybe their spouse is severely depressed and not participating in the family. Sometimes it’s a parent whose child has severe emotional and behavioral problems; the child is frequently engaged in scuffles with the law, school, or peers. When a loved one cares so much …

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Feeding Your Self-Esteem

In about 70% of the clients I see, they voice that they would like to improve their self-esteem. They report that they don’t like themselves and they have trouble identifying what is unique or special about them. Since my entire career has revolved around the study of people, I can easily understand how difficult it is for my clients to …

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