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Controlling People

As a Personal Life Coach, I encourage people to take charge of their life and yet not do everything by themselves. Their response is typically “I’m a control freak so I have to do everything myself to know that it will be done right!” Well being a “control freak” is not healthy. Controlling personalities are hyper vigilant and not fun …

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Overcontrol

As a Personal Life Coach, I encourage people to take charge of their life and yet not do everything by themselves. Their response is typically “I’m a control freak so I have to do everything myself to know that it will be done right!” Well being a “control freak” is not healthy. Controlling personalities are hyper vigilant and not fun …

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Perfection

Are your expectations of yourself and others unrealistic? Are you consumed with everything in your life being absolutely perfect? Do you typically feel stress because you micromanage yourself and the lives of others for the sake of perfection? People who strive for perfection are overachievers. Their life does not feel in sync unless their all their “ducks are in a …

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Toxic Relationships

Is there a relationship in your life that you would consider toxic? Toxic relationships are volatile, angry and abusive. They hurt you and typically are so unpredictable that they leave you feeling as if you did something wrong. Many of my clients who are in a toxic relationship come in feeling as if they had just finished emotional combat. They …

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The Narcissistic Personality Disorder

I recently met with a woman who came in to discuss techniques she could use to improve her relationship with her boss. She described him as a cool, aloof, unavailable and angry man who she had difficulty dealing with. She explained that he ranted and raved when things did not go his way and that everything needed to revolve around …

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Conflict is Natural

Last week, we talked about working on developing a healthy relationship with your spouse. Today, you will learn some tools that will help you when there is conflict in your relationship. Conflict is normal and actually, conflict breeds intimacy. When you and your spouse are in disagreement it is important to encourage the conflict and healthy resolution. Here are some …

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Don’t Sweat Conflict

Many of my clients fear conflict. They are angry about something or someone, but they fear telling the other person. They do a great job of sharing their feelings with me, but when I advise them to deal directly with the other person, they assure me they don’t feel capable or confident of doing it. There is no doubt that …

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Conflict Feels Scary

For the column of January 18, 2004 Have you ever been in a situation when you angered or disappointed someone and they refused to work out the conflict? They may have been aloof and avoided you or shared their reasons for their feelings with others but not with you. Conflict feels scary. Most people have had no formal training in …

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Assertiveness – Developing a Backbone

I work with people from all types of backgrounds and lifestyles, and I consistently see one commonality, especially among women. Women come into the office and lack the ability to assert themselves with others. Most women don’t know what assertiveness is, let alone know how to do it. And, if they do know how to do it, it is because …

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Formula for Conflict

Most people are uncomfortable dealing with conflict. They have a tendency to avoid it for fear of being hurt or hurting others. Unless you have lots of experience in dealing with conflict, your first reaction is fight or flight. How do you handle conflict? You were likely not taught specific techniques that would help you identify and work through it. …

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