Blog

Relationship Profiles

Do you have a spouse or a partner who is extremely negative, argumentative, or verbally abusive? You want desperately to change their personality, because their negativity is taking a toll on you. If your spouse fits any of these categories, you likely need tips on how to handle them. Each type of personality requires a different approach. • The Rage-a-Holic: …

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Do You Use Your Head, Your Heart, or Your Gut?

As you think of your own, life, would you say you operate from your head (intellectually), from your heart (emotionally), or from your gut (intuitively)? People who make the best decisions typically operate from all three. Your mind, emotions, and intuition should all be cooperating and working together to formulate a reality-based plan from which you can operate. Are you …

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Healthy Marriages

Marriages take a lot of work, primarily because of the power struggle that happens when two people try to meet their individual needs, and meet the needs of the other person. This power struggle, coupled with unrealistic expectations about marriage can contribute to instability in a marriage. Today, we will be talking about the elements of a healthy marriage. Decide …

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The Attitude of Gratitude

Do you practice being grateful for the good things in your life? In today’s column, I will explain what gratitude is and why it’s important for good mental health. I will also share two techniques that can help to hold you accountable and increase your ability to employ the “attitude of gratitude”. Life is a choice. You may not be …

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Create a Family of Choice

Do you have enough support in your life? Are there people who you could call in a heartbeat if you needed a favor, or needed to talk? Is there family in your life who would come to your rescue if you needed them? Unless your life is filled with support, it may be time to rethink your relationships and create …

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The Three Ps: Power, Patience & Persistence

As I work with families, I continue to be amazed at how often children control what occurs in the family. It’s as if the roles have shifted and the child will tell his or her parents what the ground rules will be. Sometimes this is done verbally, when a teen tells his parents, “I am not going to get off …

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Food Addiction and Gentle Eating

Now that it’s February and you have had at least six weeks to work on your goals, how are they working for you? Research shows that the number one New Year’s resolution is weight loss. That’s understandable when you think that this country has a 64% obesity rate. Are you one of those people who wake up thinking about what …

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Fake It Til’ You Make It

If there is one thing I have learned in my 25 years of therapy, it is that clients bring to the office everything they need to change a situation. I always tell my clients that they have “all the answers.” Most of the time, I am a conduit for opening the door to the inherent wisdom they possess. I believe …

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Defense Mechanisms

Many times human behavior cam be explained if we look at coping mechanisms. People use defense mechanisms to guide and direct them. When used excessively, it creates faulty thinking. Defense mechanisms help you cope with adversity. They are typically developed to protect you, but when they are used to the extreme, they create distorted thinking. The most common defense mechanisms …

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Restructuring Your Position

I had a young couple who came to see me for marital counseling. The husband owned his own company and the wife had a Masters Degree in business, but had chosen to stay home and raise their two sons. The couple wanted help with reviving their marriage because there seemed to be too much emotional separateness. In actuality, the husband …

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