Archives

Monthly Archive for: ‘April, 2012’

The Art of Dealing with Conflict Without the Criticism

Conflict in a relationship can be scary because anger and criticism are typically at the root of conflict and most of us have not had formal training in how to resolve it. Our parents did not teach us to handle conflict appropriately. Instead, we were taught what not to do if we felt angry, e.g. don’t say bad words, don’t …

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Confidence Building

Confidence is an ingredient in having good self-esteem. When people come in to improve their self-esteem we work on skills to develop more confidence. Confidence is a quality that creates successful people. However, you don’t need to initially experience success to build confidence. Unfortunately, most people believe you have to achieve to build the confidence, but I maintain you have …

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Loveless Marriage

I recently had a woman come into the office and describe her loveless marriage. She stated that she and her husband had nothing in common besides raising their four children. They kept different hours so they rarely saw each other. They did very little together socially. They spent zero time appreciating each other. This woman could not remember the last …

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Women and Anger: The Onion Theory

Learning how to identify and express anger is an investment in yourself and in your relationship with others. Women typically avoid anger. They ignore it because it is such an uncomfortable feeling. They have not been taught that anger is energizing, liberating, productive, and invigorating. Not only is it a necessary emotion to process conflict, but it actually can bring …

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Replenishing Your Essence or Spirit

I recently sat down with a dear friend to discuss our hectic lives. She was describing her relationship and that of her husband’s. She stated that her husband’s work (he is a therapist) encompassed his being. His spirit or essence was that of being a therapist. She explained that she was quite different from her husband. Her role, her essence, …

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Nurturance

You can’t give to others if you don’t give to yourself. This is the universal law that applies to all humans, no matter what age or sex. Unfortunately, people can easily get caught up in taking care of loved ones, whether that be your children, your employees, your parents, or your friends. Men are expected to be the providers. From …

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Betrayal

In your relationships, you hope that people will be honest, faithful, loyal and trustworthy. There is a certain sense of security inherent in a trustworthy relationship. When you have been betrayed, it affects you internally and externally. You have trouble trusting others, and more importantly you have trouble trusting yourself. When people let you down, it creates a sense of …

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The Interdependent–Finding Your Balance

Which personality fits the best? Do you see yourself as a dependent or independent person? Do you find that you need others to validate your existence, or are you more comfortable doing your own thing without the support (or interference) of others? Is your first priority to meet the needs of others or, Do your needs come first? As you …

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“But I Love Him”

Many couples come in for consultation because they are not getting their needs met by the other partner. Oftentimes the assessment reveals that one partner is willing to change but the other partner is not willing to alter his or her behavior for the betterment of the relationship. I can say with all surety that when this occurs, both spouses …

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Finding the True Meaning of Life

Last week, you were asked to identify your character strengths as a means to discovering your true passion. This week, we will be exploring what makes you truly happy and how to integrate that into your life. To often, we walk around wishing that life was different. Do you want your life to be different? If you do, begin by …

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