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Author Archive for: ‘Carol the Coach’

The Past Can Be the Best Teacher

Do you have regrets? I recently met with a woman who felt that her depression robbed her of her choices. She had an administrative position, but would have preferred helping people on the front lines. She felt that her depression had kept her from making the career choice to deal with people. She wondered if, in her late 50s, she …

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Keeping Valentine’s Day Real

Are you one of the millions of readers who had a disappointing Valentine’s Day? Maybe you didn’t have a date and you mildly reflected on the scores of happy couples who did. Perhaps you had a date, but found that it lacke zest and passion. Well the reality of the situation is that millions of people will be disappointed with …

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Creating Closeness

Do you wish there was more intimacy in your relationship? Would you like your spouse to cuddle up, be more affectionate or talk to you about feelings? When I talk to clients about their relationships, they report a change from great initial romance to no romance at all. IN THE BEGINNING: Couples spend hours talking over the phone or in …

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The Chicken or the Egg

If you suffer from low self-esteem, I would like you to ask yourself the following: Is my negative thinking and pessimism contributing to my low self-esteem, or is my low self-esteem causing my negative and pessimistic attitude? Regardless, it’s absolutely critical that someone with low self-esteem retrain their faulty thinking .Let me give you some examples of two very different …

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Divorce

Divorce is ugly—no matter what the circumstances. Children are the greatest causalities of divorce. Typically, they have little choice when it comes to the aftermath. You have the power to diminish the pain for yourself, but it is even more important to diminish your child’s pain. I have seen the trauma divorce causes children. Therefore, I have high expectations for …

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The Illusionist

People view the world based on how they see themselves and what they want in their lives. It is not uncommon to work with clients who have a distorted sense of reality. They often have illusionists in their life. Illusionists are people who create the illusion of something that isn’t there. Many clients have difficulty coping because they are dealing …

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The Lost Child

Do you have a child who just don’t turn out the way you had hoped? Does your child fail to accomplish the goals that you know he or she is capable of, and for the life of you, you just can’t figure out where you went wrong? Most likely you have examined your life and you know you weren’t perfect, …

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Strategies of Parenting

When providing therapy it is common to see patterns, especially within families. More and more, I am seeing two types of kids in my practice. There are kids who make mistakes, experience natural and logical consequences of their actions, and make better choices. Those kids are easy to deal with from a parenting standpoint, because they seem to learn from …

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Brief Strategic Therapy

Many of you have written asking me about the specifics of therapy. There has been a real shift in the ground rules for therapy in the last ten years. Most clients no longer have the luxury of going into therapy and spending months, or possibly years, talking about their issues or problems, as in the past. Therapy has become brief …

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Your Investment as a Parent

Parents have the awesome responsibility of teaching values and personal life skills to their children. Instilling the right values in your child comes from three daily investments: • Role modeling. • Family time • Good communication. Role Modeling: As a parent it is your job to model healthy behavior. Children learn what they live. You are the best teacher for …

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