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Category Archive for: ‘Relationships’

Fair Fighting

I recently sat with a couple who were discussing their most recent fight. The husband reported that whenever he and his wife disagreed, she would “beat him up verbally.” He explained that in her attempts to get him to understand her frustration she would do three things: she would put him down by trying to convince him that her reasoning …

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The Four Ingredients in a Healthy Marriage

I am frequently asked what type of work I find to be the toughest. Since I am blessed to be both a psychotherapist and a personal life coach (PLC), I have no problem answering that question. Undoubtedly, personal life coaching is the easiest and marital counseling is the toughest. When a person seeks out a PLC they are typically motivated …

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Loveless Marriage

I recently had a woman come into the office and describe her loveless marriage. She stated that she and her husband had nothing in common besides raising their four children. They kept different hours so they rarely saw each other. They did very little together socially. They spent zero time appreciating each other. This woman could not remember the last …

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Nurturance

You can’t give to others if you don’t give to yourself. This is the universal law that applies to all humans, no matter what age or sex. Unfortunately, people can easily get caught up in taking care of loved ones, whether that be your children, your employees, your parents, or your friends. Men are expected to be the providers. From …

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Betrayal

In your relationships, you hope that people will be honest, faithful, loyal and trustworthy. There is a certain sense of security inherent in a trustworthy relationship. When you have been betrayed, it affects you internally and externally. You have trouble trusting others, and more importantly you have trouble trusting yourself. When people let you down, it creates a sense of …

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“But I Love Him”

Many couples come in for consultation because they are not getting their needs met by the other partner. Oftentimes the assessment reveals that one partner is willing to change but the other partner is not willing to alter his or her behavior for the betterment of the relationship. I can say with all surety that when this occurs, both spouses …

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Relationship Profiles

Do you have a spouse or a partner who is extremely negative, argumentative, or verbally abusive? You want desperately to change their personality, because their negativity is taking a toll on you. If your spouse fits any of these categories, you likely need tips on how to handle them. Each type of personality requires a different approach. • The Rage-a-Holic: …

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Healthy Marriages

Marriages take a lot of work, primarily because of the power struggle that happens when two people try to meet their individual needs, and meet the needs of the other person. This power struggle, coupled with unrealistic expectations about marriage can contribute to instability in a marriage. Today, we will be talking about the elements of a healthy marriage. Decide …

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The Attitude of Gratitude

Do you practice being grateful for the good things in your life? In today’s column, I will explain what gratitude is and why it’s important for good mental health. I will also share two techniques that can help to hold you accountable and increase your ability to employ the “attitude of gratitude”. Life is a choice. You may not be …

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Creating Closeness

Do you wish there was more intimacy in your relationship? Would you like your spouse to cuddle up, be more affectionate or talk to you about feelings? When I talk to clients about their relationships, they report a change from great initial romance to no romance at all. IN THE BEGINNING: Couples spend hours talking over the phone or in …

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